A Letter from Panama City July 9, 1965

                              A LETTER FROM PANAMA CITY
                                                    July 9, l965

Dear Shirley,

You won't believe the turn
Our vacation has taken.
              
Out in the middle of nowhere,
Your sister Janet was her usual self.

Five-- Janet and I plus three men,
Rubbed sweaty shoulders,
Swayed and bounced on cracked leather
Across tree roots and over muddy hollows,
Hearing sloshing against the wheels
Feeling the car, leaving the road
(Such that it was).

Juan (who spoke Spanish) unshaven,
In a white t-shirt, old brown corduroys,
Drove us into the dark forest.

Around a tight turn was a Quonset hut,
Battered automobiles, vintage l950's
Parked.  Not in rows.
Scattered over a clearing
With piles of debris shoved
Toward the edges.

I checked my gold watch. 
Expedition time so far: Two hours.            
The men (one of them also knew Spanish)
Handed Juan money. 
Another paid more.

The cab sidled in next to other rusted heaps.
The driver led us inside.  .  
There, silhouettes, silent for seconds in the smoke
Hunched over a long bar.
             
Shirley, you know how Janet argues
About every little thing.
She's not known for sailing
Through the rough and tough times of traveling
Without a to-do about something. 



So Janet decides she wants to sit "way over there,"
Way past all the men at the bar who then
Had the chance to give us
The once and twice over.
              
We crossed the squeaky wooden floor slowly.
Men, white teeth, high cheekbones, dark skin,
Older, maybe in their thirties, good-looking.
(You know how some Spanish men are).
But there were others--
Not the kind you'd want to come home to.

The three businessmen came after us.

We sat down at the first knife-gouged table.
Chairs swayed too easily.  I am not that heavy,.
But before I knew it, I was on the floor
Being helped up by the three men
Who came with us and Juan.

My white linen suit was smudged with dirt
And when I sat in a different chair--
(I sat on the edge of the seat)
My sleeves picked up dirt from the table.             

Ron, the Spanish-speaking Canadian, in our group,
Ordered five beers.  The beer came in bottles,
Wet, with labels coming off, 
Opened at the table.  No glasses. 
They were used to Americans.
              
The taxi cab driver hunched over,
Whispering to Billy Bob,
A thirty-five year old man from Texas cattle country.
Billy Bob laughed, pulled out a fifty dollar bill,
and said, "Let's go to the back."

The men pushed back their chairs.  More squeaks.
An empty chair fell over.  They weren't made that well.
              
Being agreeable, to the men I said, "OK," and Janet,
Being Janet, said,  "I like it here.  That's nice music."
It wasn't nice music.  A scratchy record
Over a loudspeaker.  You could hardly
Make out the words of "Mr. Sandman."
Not stereo.  Hadn’t reached the jungle yet.
              
I dragged Janet, and we followed
The three men, (the other man was Sheldon
From New York, fabric business)
Down a long passageway.
Bits of dusty plaster covered a stained red carpet.
Walls had holes with chicken wire showing through.
From old fights, maybe.

          
Perfume floated through the hallway.
We walked past shut doors without doorknobs.


The three men stooped, then disappeared
Through a low doorway.  Janet and I were
Close behind.  One light, I mean light bulb,
Hung from a cord in the center of the room.

We sat down, up against a wall.                   
The words of Mr. Sandman muffled behind thin walls.
We were gathered together in a row.
Facing pink. 

Pink walls met a pink carpeted floor.
The chairs, upholstered but soiled,
Had pink flowers embroidered over holes.
The door on the other side of the room
Glowed bright pink.  

The most obvious and important pink
Was the round bed in the middle.
Pink sheets, pink pillowcases,
Pink satin blanket, (looked hot to me),
Ruffle pink.  Overpinked.
                                                           
Janet wasn't speaking.  She had settled
Into a wobbly card table chair.
The men weren't making any conversation.
They sat. Quiet.  We all sat. Quiet.
Mr. Sandman scratched on and on
I played with the zipper on my purse,
Running it back and forth.

A woman's voice laughed from behind a closed door.
That made me jump..
Janet still hadn't said anything to me.
She seemed content.                        
              
I whispered to Ron, sitting on my other side,
"What's going on?"

“We have about a few minutes to wait,
Then it will start,” he said.

I turned to Janet and whispered,.
"Don't you think we ought to wait in the bar?"

She sat there, ignoring me..
I leaned closer and touched her arm..

"Janet, I think we ought to wait in the bar."

              
"No, let's just stay here for a few more  minutes," she said.
 (Is Janet dense or what?  She's your sister, Shirley.)

I said, "Janet, I'm going back to the bar,
And I think you should come with me."

Reluctantly, she began to listen to me.
Behind the door, the woman's voice
Was joined by a man's.            
              
I pulled Janet up, mumbling to the men,
About hunting for a bathroom.  I hauled Janet
Out.  I heard the other door open.
Two voices, male and female, entered the pink room.

But we were down the hallway.
Janet, being Janet, yelled at me
For pulling her away from the show. 
               
Back in the bar, we sat at the same table.
A man came up and pinched my arm.
Janet didn't see it.  She was looking at a man
At the bar who was looking at her.

"The music is romantic, " Janet said.

"Janet, we're leaving,"  I said.
"Not without the men," she said.
“We can`t leave them out here
 In the middle of nowhere."
              
Juan appeared from the passageway
And leaned over us. Obviously,
Having drunk more than beers.                                                                                      
He led us to the cab, put us in the back seat,
And, in very clear English, said,
"Stay put. Not safe."

The windows were open.
He locked the doors.
              
Expedition time: Four hours.

The men came out.
They didn't say anything
About anything.  They made small talk
And joked about women always having
To go to the bathroom.
 
Janet said she wouldn't speak to me
For the rest of the cruise.
She said I ruined her
Trip.  She's just not used to traveling,
Being ready for whatever happens.
Like I am.           

If Janet doesn't talk to me
There are plenty of other people
To talk to.  We have about six days
And three hours left on our cruise.
With or without Janet talking.                
     
See you when I get back.
              
Love from south of many borders,

Eve